People always say that relationships are romantic, sweet and dream-y. I used to think the same.
In fact, I must say the media represents it as a big achievement that every person should have. Finding "the one", having the first kiss, then dating, getting engaged, married and building a family. All movie-style (specially the x-mas' ones).
When I was a child and in the begining of my teenager years, I had this dream in which I'd find myself a perfect pair and finally feel complete.
However, as things were happening to me, as being used and abused by various people, I lost this dream. I just cannot believe I will find "the one". I'm frustrated and deluded about the dream I carried for so long. I don't believe love as I thought or was showed to me is real. Relationships hurt, and they hurt a lot. I'd say it's impossible for me to conect and trust someone as I did once. When something goes wrong, I close myself and go silent. In the past, I was the person who'd run after a solution to find peace again. Nowadays? I can't. My heart did hurt so much now I'm not able to conect or barely feel anything as once. As "ATWA" from System of a Down says,
And, also, as I personally say to myself again and again when I feel bad,
I'd say I suffered enough. And I'm not only very scarred from it, but also fed up. There's no reason for me to keep on trying to dream of it again.
Maybe I should give it one more chance, I really don't know. Maybe time will teach me something new, right?